Fat Kats Pizzeria

05 Oct

*Note – There are no photos of the Lexington location, and this review is ONLY for the Lexington location, not the Georgetown location*

I consider myself fair. I normally go to a place three times or more before I post my thoughts online. It’s the respectable thing to do; you can’t try a place once and go “loved it!” or “hated it!” and consider yourself a credible source. So many things could have happened on your lone trip: bad day for the staff, bad produce, equipment isn’t operating, or even just a bad cook that night. I normally don’t bend that rule.

I do break that rule, however, when a place is so awful I refuse to give it any more of my money.

I must start off by saying I am a pizza snob. That doesn’t mean can’t appreciate places like Cici’s and Domino’s, because I know what places like that are offering: I’m not walking into Cici’s and causing a ruckus because my buffett-style pizza isn’t made of organic cheese and fresh basil. No, I know exactly what to expect with those two. When I walk into the a place like Fat Kat’s, I expect a good, home-made pizza.

Instead, I get a restaurant that is Pizza Hut-lite. Actually that’s an insult to Pizza Hut.

First, we ordered their “famous” pizza rolls as an appetizer. I honestly have no idea how “famous” they truly are. The rolls were unpleasant, to say these least. Actually, they wouldn’t be that bad if they weren’t four for $4. Did I mention these rolls are the size of a Totino’s pizza roll, and taste just like a Totino’s pizza roll, albeit a little more fluffy? Picture one of those, rolled in oil, sprinkled with some herbs and then thrown on a paper plate and dropped off at your table. So something THAT small costs a dollar each. Nice profit margin there. Oh! But we get garlic butter (sans any hint of garlic) and marinara/pizza sauce on the side, so I guess that helps…

That’s what they look like, except at the Lexington location you get four, plus they were nowhere near that big. 

(As a side note, while we’re sitting in the restaurant waiting for our food, the music keeps switching off and on. It felt like we were involved in an involuntary game of musical chairs.)

At this point, I was praying their pizza would be worth our time and - more importantly – our money. I ordered an individual sized pizza with bacon and pepperoni. Kat ordered a “FatKat” sub: Salami, ham, pepperoni, banana peppers, cheese, lettuce, tomato, onion and “sub sauce”. I joked with her that the sub having “cheese” with no description made me giggle for some reason. I pictured them making it a surprise, like with the ingredients of their “sub sauce”.

Remember when I referenced Pizza Hut? Yea, my pizza was JUST that. There’s no way this wasn’t Pizza Hut pizza. I refuse to believe otherwise. I was so aggravated at that point. I just ate the thing as best I could, which was almost impossible because the cheese cooled on the glossy paper plate and the pizza fell apart. I think Pizza Hut actually has higher quality pizza than FatKat’s, so I apologize to the fine people of Yum! Brand Foods. If I was working at Fat Kat’s I would ask “why would people come here over a place like Pizza Hut? We’re more expensive and taste very similar. What do we have to offer?”

Kat’s sub was a sub. Not much to dissect there since they didn’t even have to cook anything. It was something you could get at Jimmy John’s. I never asked which mystery cheese she was given, because at that point I had enough. Here’s the thing: I don’t mind lower quality food if it’s cheap, but an individual pizza (that was about 6-7 inches big), two small sodas, FAMOUS! rolls, and a sub ended up costing us $26. I could get a much, MUCH better meal at that price. Many people, including myself, don’t have money to just throw at an establishment and say “well that was crap, but at least I helped a local business!”

Sure, I could go back and try some of their specialty pizzas, or maybe some of their pasta, but I was just so angry at how lackluster everything was at FatKat’s (The interior, the broken sound system, the prices, the food quality) that I couldn’t bring myself to spend another penny at this place.

I hate acting like this, but sometimes it’s called for. Perhaps the Georgetown location is much better, offering quality, delicious pizza and pastas to its customers with a smile. Sadly this location is just abysmal. Stay away.

Overall: D

FatKats Pizzeria (Lexington) on Urbanspoon


About greatshatnersghost

New York native, pizza snob and UK shill.
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Posted by on October 5, 2011 in Restaurants


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